SMALL LIGHT

Small light. So little I nearly can't see it from the distance. 

But slowly I walk step by step to the light.

The more I come forward, the more it goes away from my sight and it disappeared later. 

I keep doubting myself, my skills, abilities, and even my brains. Always looking for people's approval. Sometimes my clouds of thinking always come pondering. Non-stop, every night, every second. Am I a freak?

At one time I feel want to stop doing anything. People are competing with each other. To be the first in the row. TO BE THE BEST AMONG THE BEST. Being a failure is no fun. at all. People looking down at you and your skills. Nothing impresses them. at all. People might think I am a dumbass especially you. 

I don't know about you. 

Self-doubting, feel belittle. I try to stop whining and complaining. But.... your surroundings can't help you much. It is really suffocating and I really want to be invisible to anyone. Anyhow, in this world, I can't survive alone. Still need some hands to get out from the shits.  

Well, I am waiting for some light in the year 2021.

-Roha Okane [feeling helpless 70%].